Collecting dust

It took me awhile to get here. For a very long time, I was convinced that the only way to prove myself as a writer was to be published by a publisher. But that day never happened (It may still happen). And I have been rejected many times. Yes, each letter, each e-mail, stung me each time.

I decided to put my notebooks and laptop away. It was time to bury my foolish dreams of becoming a writer because it wasn’t bringing any income in.

As stated in my About Me page, I got a sensible job. When I would get inspired, had a great story idea, or a line needed to be written down, I texted myself.

In my heart, I was always a writer.

Last year, my brother-in-law, Rommel, had a video game idea. It was about a knight who fought monsters in a nightmare world. The first thing my husband said, “You should write it as a book.”

It was enough to get me started again. I blew the dust off my laptop, took out my index cards, and my imagination flew away. After months of writing and re-writing, I finally finished “Have a Good Night, Knight.”

I then found inspiration in my culture and family. I read a lot about mythical and supernatural creatures of Philippines, but after talking to my Aunt Belen, I had more materials than I could imagine.

I tried getting published again. I sent out queries and manuscripts but the rejection kept coming.

Just like before, I tucked my laptop away, stuffed my index cards in a drawer, and convinced myself that I was never gonna be read.

A month ago, I had a long conversation with my best friend, Tristan. We were two creative people that needed an outlet. Tristan convinced me to start a blog. I, of course, brushed it off.

Blogging was not my thing. I tried it a few years ago, and I am willing to admit that it was not my best writing. Tristan could not convince me.

A week later, I hung out with my cousins. I brought up the idea about starting a website with my cousin, Frances, a web developer. The first thing she said, “Do it.” I started giving her excuses.

“I don’t know how to make a website,” I whined. “I’ll make your website, you just focus on the content,” she retorted.

There I was trying to talk myself out of it, and here she was giving me all the solutions.

The real problem was me. I had been rejected by publishers and I was worried that I would be rejected by the public.

“What if no one reads my stories?” I asked.

“No one is reading them right now,” Frances said.

She was right. There was nothing for me to lose. I could let my work stay buried with no readers, or I can showcase my writing on this website and take my chances.

Here I go.

Posted in Inspiration
2 comments on “Collecting dust
  1. DanG says:

    Rachel,

    I completely understand. The biggest obstacle to achieving your dreams is yourself. I have daily struggles with that naysayer in my head that tries to tell me that my stories don’t make sense or that people will never read them. You’re a fantastic creative person and I’m sure it will only be a matter of time before you’re published. I look forward to reading more stories and blogs on this site.

  2. Bestie says:

    Dust schmust! You haven’t missed a step! You’re an amazingly talented writer Rachell and as Marianne Williamson put it “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others”. And I, for one, am ready to be set free! Congratulations on the launch!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*