It took me awhile to get here. For a very long time, I was convinced that the only way to prove myself as a writer was to be published by a publisher. But that day never happened (It may still happen). And I have been rejected many times. Yes, each letter, each e-mail, stung me each time.
I decided to put my notebooks and laptop away. It was time to bury my foolish dreams of becoming a writer because it wasn’t bringing any income in.
As stated in my About Me page, I got a sensible job. When I would get inspired, had a great story idea, or a line needed to be written down, I texted myself.
In my heart, I was always a writer.
Last year, my brother-in-law, Rommel, had a video game idea. It was about a knight who fought monsters in a nightmare world. The first thing my husband said, “You should write it as a book.”
It was enough to get me started again. I blew the dust off my laptop, took out my index cards, and my imagination flew away. After months of writing and re-writing, I finally finished “Have a Good Night, Knight.”
I then found inspiration in my culture and family. I read a lot about mythical and supernatural creatures of Philippines, but after talking to my Aunt Belen, I had more materials than I could imagine.
I tried getting published again. I sent out queries and manuscripts but the rejection kept coming.
Just like before, I tucked my laptop away, stuffed my index cards in a drawer, and convinced myself that I was never gonna be read.
A month ago, I had a long conversation with my best friend, Tristan. We were two creative people that needed an outlet. Tristan convinced me to start a blog. I, of course, brushed it off.
Blogging was not my thing. I tried it a few years ago, and I am willing to admit that it was not my best writing. Tristan could not convince me.
A week later, I hung out with my cousins. I brought up the idea about starting a website with my cousin, Frances, a web developer. The first thing she said, “Do it.” I started giving her excuses.
“I don’t know how to make a website,” I whined. “I’ll make your website, you just focus on the content,” she retorted.
There I was trying to talk myself out of it, and here she was giving me all the solutions.
The real problem was me. I had been rejected by publishers and I was worried that I would be rejected by the public.
“What if no one reads my stories?” I asked.
“No one is reading them right now,” Frances said.
She was right. There was nothing for me to lose. I could let my work stay buried with no readers, or I can showcase my writing on this website and take my chances.
Here I go.